I’m sitting in a hotel room in one of the US’s most interesting cities. The hotel’s stationery proclaims it “An outpost of international vintage style”. For me its “Heartbreak Hotel”. I’m in the midst of spending time with someone who has been of romantic interest to me for the past 3 years, until this visit, and its painful as hell.
Why I haven’t pulled the plug before now, or even yesterday or four days ago has me entirely stumped! Masochism has very little to offer me, and yet, I’ve allowed myself to suffer through this for the last 5 days?!?! And I seem to be doing this consciously. I think I finally get it now. Its time for me to cut the ties and move on. He can’t commit, doesn’t even want to commit and now, due to my angry outbursts, won’t even speak.
So, for those of you who’ve missed me (thank you), I’m still here. Unhappy, feeling unloved, and unwanted – and still here.
[...] it was OK to be bonking someone else’s husband when I had a dream of things working out with ‘that other guy’. Now it simply seems a little pathetic and very [...]