He shut the door to our hotel room with a small slam at 4:22 this morning, and all he said was “Good bye”. Two days ago I told him that after this visit, I’m not available for more contact. I have to go cold turkey!
He understands that. In the past three months he quit alcohol, nicotine and caffeine that way. I guess I’m the fourth item on that list.
I now need to work myself up to removing his number from my phone, his contact from Skype, and his email from my address book, but I’m not ready to do those things yet – and going to let myself do them when I’m ready.
My only question is, now that I’ve finally stopped torturing myself, when will I stop feeling so numb?
So, on to my practice: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy practice compassion.” – His Holiness the Dalai Lama
It must be extremely hard doing this. I sympathise, and wish you the very best.
Thank you, Drodbar…. I’m doing exceptionally well with this emotionally, though I do cringe a little when I think of the red flags I’ve ignored over the last 3 years. Glad to say I’m still living and learning. – cAn I trUst yoU
[...] And so I continue my practice – and each day I have a little more objectivity, and a little less disbelief. [...]