The freedom to do as I please – instantly my straight-jacket, solitary confinement – my one-way ticket to overwhelm. You can keep your ‘freedom’. Give me direction, instructions, directives, outright orders. Tell me what to do, so I don’t wonder, think, calculate, ponder, decide, or in fact, not!. Should I go for a walk, work on the book, the script, call and catch up with friends, dust the window ledges, search the dating site, organize my photos, shake the rug? Which should I do. Or none?!?
Instead i’m writing this post, here, now, and pondering a title that might be interesting, meaningful, and just a little witty.
Considering, pondering, deciding
keeps me immobile
prevents risk
creates bizarre safety
the safey of inaction
risk-free do-nothing
leading to sadness,
sense of loss
sense of un being
impassible, unending circle of doubt
there is no freedom here – only torturous indecision
